Families Growing Together: Family Dynamics Are Like Shadows

by Margaret Evans, Director of Lifespan Learning
The dynamics of family life are complex and complicated, beautiful and frustrating. We are born or brought into one familial unit; as adults we may create another. Family dynamics are like shadows. They follow us around for most of our lives and seem to come out in full force during dark periods in our lives. Sometimes we forget they are there, and other times we cannot escape them.
Birth order, misplaced feelings and other emotional situations can prevent us from letting go of these innate dynamics. They can prevent us from moving forward with our own lives and can cause great strain on other relationships.
• How might these family shadows be lurking underneath your household? Can you name them? There is something about naming an issue that takes away its power. Journal or meditate on some of your personal shadows.
• How might siblings be able to recognize others’ faults, achievements or dynamics without it being a reflection of themselves?
• Spend some time this month meditating on each of your family members. What are their strengths? How are they flourishing or floundering in their family dynamic? How might you be able to help them?
By stepping into this vulnerable practice you are opening yourself up to witness some bad habits or lost possibilities that you might not otherwise have seen. Then, take it one step further and ask yourself what part you play in family dynamics. Shining light on these areas of our lives is painful but can bring great beauty.